Is There Really A Secret Formula?

by admin on October 13, 2014

Is there really a “secret formula” to building a thriving business AND a healthy, fulfilling marriage?

Yes — without a doubt.  Here’s an overview of the framework…

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What your business needs most is the best that each of you has to offer — your strengths.  But what your marriage needs most is a focus on meeting each individual’s love needs — your love languages.

All too often, in the daily hustle to take care of what your business demands and what your spouse needs, it’s easy to forget the differences between the two and miss the mark on both.

Without question, your business needs you to apply your greatest strengths and most valuable talents as often as possible. And while at work, you and your spouse will benefit most by collaborating and working interdependently — leveraging your respective strengths toward a common goal.

However, what your spouse needs most within your relationship is to have his or her love needs met — based on his or her unique love languages — and those may have nothing to do at all with your strengths or what you do best.

And when you’re used to spending your day succeeding at work by doing what you do best, being asked to do something that doesn’t come naturally to you can be a real challenge.

That’s where the secret formula comes into play.  You’ll want to apply and appreciate each other’s strengths as a team each and every day, with a willingness to put those strengths in your back pocket — at least for the moment — as you deliberately focus on speaking your spouse’s love languages.

If your spouse speaks the “words of affirmation” love language, resist the temptation to turn the conversation into an impromptu job performance evaluation (even if you did plan to focus on his or her best qualities).  If your spouse speaks the “quality time” love language, don’t spend your weekend get-away time discussing last month’s sales figures (even if it would mean writing the trip off as a business expense).

More often than not, Debby doesn’t need me to flex my Strategic or Intellection talent themes when she needs to feel loved and appreciated.  And likewise, I often need for her to put her Responsibility and Consistency talent themes on the back-burner to most effectively speak my love languages.

Based on our experience working with couples, one of the biggest challenges you will face as married business owners/partners is knowing how and when to turn off the “strengths” switch, so you can focus intently on speaking your spouse’s love language.  This is especially true when you don’t “speak” that language very well and it doesn’t align with your natural talents and strengths.

But that’s what makes this an amazing adventure together. Learning daily how to navigate life in a way that makes the most of what each of you has to offer through your strengths — collaboratively and interdependently — while sacrificially speaking each other’s love languages and meeting each other’s greatest needs in your marriage.

Now that you know the secret formula, let’s give it a go!

~ David & Debby

David & Debby Pierpoint

David Pierpoint / Strategic, Futuristic, Intellection, Learner, Deliberative
Debby Pierpoint / Harmony, Developer, Empathy, Responsibility, Consistency

 

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